Liquid Laughs

We invite you, our dear friends of Liquid, to submit funny stuff you find on the web so we can use it to amuse and entertain you, our dear friends of Liquid.

Please send stories, articles, links to hilarious videos, etc. to laughs@liquid.com. We will choose the ones we think are most likely to make people laugh so hard they pee their pants, and we'll add those we like most to our Laughs page weekly. (Just send the link, unless it's a fairly small file.)

But WAIT- there's more! We also would like you to VOTE for the funniest entry, and the winner gets a prize of some sort. We haven't worked out the details yet, not even how we'll tally the votes. I mean, we're still deciding what to furnish the darn building with. Priorities, people! But we'll get to it, and it will be something good.

We realize that we might get multiple submissions of the same article, story, video link, etc., and when that happens, the credit goes to the first person who sent it. So ya better be quick. (If you're in it to win it, here's a hint that might help: we will not put anything on our site that is too sexual in nature, or that shows anyone getting hurt. Kids might stumble across our site, and, frankly, bodily harm is just not all that funny to us.)

To get us started, we have put up a couple things that were just lying around in our computer. Clearly, we need your help to add more material. Enjoy.

If you missed it on Saturday Night Live, here's another chance to see the

Narnia Rap (Lazy Sunday)

(Click on picture to go to Saturday Night Live's website & watch the video. Click your back arrow to return to this page)

Click here to read a whole darn professionally written article about what the heck is so funny about the Narnia Rap. (This is included to help legitimize our choice to include it on our Laughs page. Aaaahhh- that's the feeling of validation. Nice.)

How To Give A Cat A Pill

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10 Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed . Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck, leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye . Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

                            How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.